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Give it to ya till you're screaming my name.

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♥Monday, August 16, 2010♥

Dear blogger,
Recently ii have been thinking how did ii even get to sec 4 with no basic knowledge...This two weeks been having my Prelims exams and ii think im not going to do well cause im not even prepared for it.Why ii know im not prepared is because at this time now..I should be able to do do all questions without many dunnos...haha!but I dun even know some of the basic stuff.Even my brother was like wondering did ii loisten in class anot..den im like,,Noooooooo.Then, ii started to get worried.I NEVER WANT TO GO ITE.Cause ii know, ii can achieve better to poly like my sister and brother.But, ii dunno how to answer to all my "dunnos". and is driving me nuts. After my Prelims, soon later will be my N's. Extremely worried.Yet, feeling helpless.Alot of my relative, friends and teachers are holding high hopes on me that ii can make it...And I DONT WANNA Disappoint them..What should ii do???I really wanna go Poly or jc's with my friends.But doubt if ii can do it.I think I CAN cause im not stupid ii think?Im just lazy an no discilpline.haha!ii know..hmm...Just need to work hard like my friends did.But ii dun understand why they like to compete with each other so much that it affected their friendship, as long as it comes to studies.They will quarrelled. I dun wanna be like them.thus, ii only compete with my passed achievements.See if ii made any improvements though still fail...
Dear friends,
I wish ii will not disappoint you guys at the end of this year.Knowing that some of your really concern and worried for me, thus im really trying hard now!!!!!!!!!!!!not sure if it's really hard enough for your ah..But im really trying..Sigh.Im so stress..Many times when people talk about academic,, ii would be so embarrassed to say about my achievement after sec 2.Aiyah..Dunno lah.sianz.Just hope your dun look upon me too much cause your may end up with disappointment and yahh...
My feelings...
Always stoning when im alone in the bus going back home.Staring up at the clear blue sky and the burning sun.I reflect on myself...And ii always end up in tear.Tear of sorrow, of fear and regrets.No one knows how ii really feel...I wish my parents and siblings would cared about me more and support me.I need someone to always be there to pressuraise me thus at the same time providing me the encouragement and motivation ii need...Im getting weaker.sob sob:(

♥Smile can be deceiving♥
@ 9:01 PM