Yesterday,did not had a good sleep.Can say dat nv even slept at all lahhz...Was so sad and worried.Wondering yy my family ish turning upside down and its becaming worse.Haiz...Tears was flooded in my room and Sorrows were matched all around the house...I jux dunno wad ii could do!Sometimes ii would ask myself,if this was fated???and is it all suppose to be to end up my family like this...ii can say dat, to mie,as a child now...I have been through lots of up's and Down's with my family and its not easy to came all the way to here.It ish Not easy!and...Those times will neva be forgotten!Haiz...Dunno wad else can ii reallie say...Thinking dat,im reallie sick and tired of coming back home sometimes...But,ii still have to:( and Many times, ii felt dat,ii can neva find my happiness,love and joys in my house..But yet,sometimes it does have but,ii dun feel quite much of it...im starting to lose my self-confident and courage if this situation reallie continues...and im also glad dat at these moment of Stuggling, SOME of my friends would be dere and care and encourage mie and shown mie those "loves: dat ii actually needed.ii reallie got to sae a BIG THANK YOU to "ur"...

But, at some points when ii reallie wanted a shoulder to lean on and an arms to support to,There's none???and wad ii could do was onli to break down and cry???and this will definately helps mie to feel betta.im thinking dat im getting more and more timid..Dunnoe yy???but it jux seems to be so true...Hahax:D yea!

and todae ii did have a Gret fun with my PRIMARY SCHOOL(KCS) friends...Miss them SOOOOoooooooooooooooo much!Loves:D

Have your ever ONCE hated ur family and wanted to leave home???

This feelings happens to mie many times...But,ii everytime DID tell myself,I NEVER HATED THEM BEFORE!!!but,yy dun ii feel the love and care from them???do ii ever live in their world?yy???!!!why am ii always so left out in my family...between my friends???even the facebook knows!ii jux dun feel like living anymore!ii wanted to die...But i have already promise my mummie,ii will not leave this world before her...cause she said it was veri rude to leave before ur mother.den ii once told her say, i have already dreamt dat i will die of a car acident and will die before ii reach the age of 40.and ii believe it!because, secret.Never mind...

ii jux dunnoe yy ii am always alone whenever im sad and needed someone to be dere...NONE of my family member would be dere for mie...and if anything happens between mie and my silblings,ii am always the one to be get scolding first and punish!But why???cause im the youngest???Its not fair!ii sooooooooooooooooo much wish the my REAL daddy was with mie now...or ii would like to join him OUT OF THE WORLD!!!ii misses him so much!

im so hurt...Veri sad veri SAD!!!IM REALLIE VERI SAD!!! who can reallie understand how ii feel now...

Moment of sorrow...

Sometimes,ii jux hate to live...and each time ii jux wish ii were dead.and ii wish to be jux disappeared from this earth for a moment and onli be back when ii feels like.But, in life,it can never happen.

If there is time for joy, love and fun, DEFINATELY, there will be time for pain, hurts and sorrow.And,it never depends on where you are,who you were and when will it be.It will jux happen.There will not be time for you to prepared to be sad,happie or even Afraid. jux like you dunno when will your last day of urlife jouney comes.It can jux happen wherever you are,whenever you never expected it or whatever you are doing at that time.It will jux STRIKE!and everything of your dat happen in ur life will jux end without warning.

Sometimes, you might ask urself,yy everytime when u have something to be happie about, later on,something bad will comes...and yy each time the moment of joy,love and fun ish always so short and time of pain,hurt and sorrow ish always longer den time for happiness???This ish jux life.It always happen and thats when you never ever wanted to be!!!

And...When you reallie feel like crying out,and your tears ish stuck under ur eyeball, and cannot roll down, the feeling reallie sucks.ish like you are dying of pain but you still dun wanna live ur love ones and you keeps on hanging dere...Do you feel the kinda feelings???haiz...Sometimes,you do heard from ur friends that will say," life is so COMPLICATED!'. and sometimes you agreed with it too ritez???and have you ever ask urself yy will you think so???and how come???and then it becomes a mystery for you den have no answered for it.

Now that,ii have got a family,after my real fatehr had passed away,my mumie got remarried.and life became betta.But,today,a suden blow came towards mie.that,my step father wanted to give up our family and leave the house.its flabbergasting!As my mother continue to tell us how she feels deep inside her heart, my tears were already trickling down my cheeks.i must confess dat a lump had come to my throat and ii was having a hard to swallow...Mummie breaks down.Tears slowly roll down our cheeks and the house seems to be filled with moment of sorrows:(ii din noe wad to do...my mother ask mie,if ii will agreed my unle to leave us,ii said no but as long as he dun regret and come back to us can ler,den ii remained silent.

Flashback enters my mind,and many things seems to be going through my mind and ii din noe wad was ii thinking...until now,my mind and heart was all messed up and onli stuck in this stupid situation.ii feel trap.and im confused!

I DUNNO WAD TO DO!!!SOB SOB:( II DUNNO WAD ELSE TO SAE, AND...IM JUX WONDERING.blasting music into my ears and thinking,thinking ,thinking...non-stop thinking...